I Speak To God and Pretend That He is Listening
I Speak to God and Pretend He is Listening
“As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God” (Ps 42:1). A sound of desperation and a quest to discover a matter.
Has there been a time when faith is listless from within? Hope has relocated on the outside yet you speak to God and pretend that He is listening? Your prayers barely leave your mouth instead they cleave to your shut lips.
Do You hear me God? Well I will just pretend that You do. It is better to imagine that you do, than to know You are not there. The simplicity of Your existence is known by many who will argue, if You exist at all. We cannot argue over anything that has no manifestation of truth. If anyone dares argue if God exist then obviously He does.
My prayers have been to seek Your face, that you would search my heart as David cried. My tears have now but dried up waiting for you to respond. If you responded I missd it. I continued to cry out for you, day after day. Waiting on the lord, but there is no answer to my quest.
This journey we call life can have one united in the realm of the Spirit or the realm of the spirits. We can either believe in the voice of God, or we can believe the voice of deception.
We want to believe that "this is not all there is" to our spiritual life. Traveling blind and deaf as if perfection was never created to emulate, the One who is.
Why can't the eyes hear, and the ears not see? God, do you hear me? I am pretending that you do. I am really pretending.
I Speak To God and Pretend That he is Listening
We can imagine such great wonders in our minds. They occupy us with conversations to God, pondering and waiting on any answer.
Why am I praying for things you already know? Since you already know our needs, before we asked of them. Is this the way of hope? My heart hurts from the urgency to know you are there, please God let the pain subside…eventually it does. My body hurts and is seeking relieve from the impounding agony down my spine…I hope it will go away too.
I am weary of pretending, exhausted of the silence, hopeless to change, thirsty for your image and desperate for a touch, here I am Lord. Am I so hard to find?, here I am.
I find myself grasping up the hill, cleaving with my hands and pushing with my feet as I am ascending and panting just to see if you are listening. Higher and higher I go, but the higher I get the dimmer it all appears.
When I looked to the left. I don't see you. And when I looked to the right. I don't see. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?" You may see me but I can't see you. ( Psalm 134: 7).
David tells us that God is always present no matter where we are at.
My dreams are not getting much attention these days, but my nightmares shortly are. I have often wondered if at one time or on other I have let go your hand and held one closest to me, that has replaced my dreams and robbed my hopes. Have I been entertaining of the gods, the thought is frightening, who all our desire is to be near you in feel you encounter your presence.
I have believed, not because I can see, for believing prior to what I have perceived has been the reality of what I do see.
I don't want to pray and pretend that you are listening. I want to know you are, even if you do not answer. Lord, I fear, have I not ever heard you? Is this why you do not hear me?
A Christians desperate cry. Do you hear me?